The Way of the Superior Man

Ladies, you may want your men to read this...

In order to enliven her feminine core, your woman should spend time every day in absolute abandon and celebration. During these times of dancing, singing, laughter, and sheer delight, her body and mind should be totally released of any obligation to be masculine, directed, controlled, structured, or goal-oriented. These occasions are most rejuvenating when she is with other women, magnifying and rejoicing in each other's feminine radiance and flow. If your woman lacks this frequent feminine rejuvenation, she will develop symptoms of depressed feminine energy. Disease, especially in her more feminine parts, lack of life energy, low sexual desire and enjoyment, and a blue, downhearted, despond disposition.

Much of the modern men's movement has concentrated on men reclaiming their inner feminine energy. If you want to realize your own feminine energy, then you can do pretty much the same as women do to revitalize their feminine energy. You can go out into the woods and sing and dance and laugh with your friends. For men who have become rigidly stuck in their masculine direction, without allowing the flow of joy and sharing in their lives, this is good medicine. But for men who have lost their sense of purpose, who don't know what their life is about, or who have trouble aligning their life with their truth, singing and dancing aren't the remedy. The cure for lack of purpose is to be challenged to live at your edge, since you have lost the capacity to live there by yourself.

The two ways to bring your right to your masculine edge of power are austerity and challenge.

Austerity means to eliminate the comforts and cushions in your life that you have learned to snuggle into and lose wakefulness. Take away anything that dulls your edge. No newspapers or magazines. No TV. No candy, cookies, or sweets. No sex. No cuddling. No reading of anything at all while you eat or sit on the toilet. Reduce working time to a necessary minimum. No movies. No conversation that isn't about truth, love, or the Divine.

If you take on these disciplines for a few weeks, as well as any other disciplines that may particularly cut through your unique habits of dolmens, then your life will be stripped of routine distraction. All that will be left is the edge you have been avoiding by means of your daily routine. You'll have to face the basic discomforts and dissatisfaction that is the hidden texture of your life. You will be alive with the challenge of living your truth, rather than hiding from it.

Unadorned suffering is the bed made of masculine growth. Only by staying intimate with your personal suffering can you feel through it to its source. By putting all your attention into work, TV, sex, and reading, your suffering remains unpenetrated and the source remains hidden. Your life becomes structured entirely by your favorite means of sidestepping the suffering you rarely allow yourself to feel. And when you do touch the surface of your suffering, perhaps in the form of boredom, you quickly pick up a magazine or the remote control.

Instead, feel your suffering, rest with it, embrace it, make love with it. Feel your suffering so deeply and thoroughly that you penetrated, and realize its fearful foundation. Almost everything you do, you do because you're afraid to die. And yet dying is exactly what you are doing, from the moment you are born. Two hours of absorption in a good Super Bowl telecast may distract you temporarily, but the fact remains. You are born as a sacrifice. And you can either participate in the sacrifice, dissolving in the giving of your gift, or you can resist it, which is your suffering.

By eliminating the safety net of comforts in your life, you have the opportunity to freefall in this moment between birth and death, right through the whole of your fear, into the unthreatened humble openness, which is the source of your gifts. The superior man lives as this spontaneous sacrifice of love.

The other means, besides austerity, for rediscovering your masculine core, is through challenge. The more superficial forms of challenge include activities such as mountain climbing, ropes courses, competitive sports, and boot camp. These forms of physical challenge instantly and live in the masculine sense of purpose and direction, in men and women.

Deeper forms of challenge involved directly giving your gift in ways that have been blocked by your fear. If you have always been afraid of public speaking, you can take on the challenge of speaking in public once a week for three months. If you fail and missed an appointment one week, the following week, you must give three talks. If you have always wanted to write a novel but could never finish one, you tell your friends that you are going to complete one chapter a week or per month for the next year. Every time you don't complete your weekly goal, you give your friends $100. If you don't complete your yearly goal, you owe them $10,000.

The point is there must be a consequence for freezing in the face of fear. There are obvious consequences for freezing in the face of fear when mountain climbing or playing competitive sports. You must instill consequences throughout the rest of your life unless you want to cling to the safety net of superficial pleasures.

The most potent forms of masculine realignment involve both austerity and challenge. Go to the middle of the woods, by yourself, with only survival necessities. Nothing to read, nothing to do. Fast from food and don't sleep for as long as possible. Challenge your attention with some practice, such as chanting or ritual movement, so that your attention doesn't drift or become balmy. Open yourself and wait. Do not cover your suffering. Do not quit before you fall through the whole of your fear and emerge with a vision of your true mission, the unique form of your living sacrifice.

This kind of isolation and challenges in extreme and potent form of masculine vision questing, but there are more common forms that are useful in everyday life. Spend time every day in solitude, with no distractions. Just sit for 10 minutes. No fidgeting, no channel surfing, no magazines dumbing. Just be, exactly as you are, not trying to change anything. Stay with your suffering, until you fall through it and intuit the groundless source of your life.

Just as your woman must regularly spend time with only women, you must regularly spend time with only men. At least once a week be together with your male friends to serve one another. Cut through the bullshit and talk with each other straight. If you feel your friend is wasting his life, tell him so, because you love him. Welcome such criticism from your friends. Suggest challenges for each other to take on, in order to bring each other through the fears which limit your surrender in gifting. Always agree on consequences for not persisting in the challenge. For instance, if you agree to ravish your wife for three hours every other day for a week, then also agreed to mow your friends yard if you miss a day of ravishment.

You should alternate these kinds of cutting-through-the-bullshit gatherings with masculine celebrations. Even during the celebrations, though, there should be a challenge to remain conscious and undistracted. They are not occasions for lapsing from fullness, but for commuting beyond fear. Perhaps you can all go swimming in ice cold water together. Or drink to the point of inebriation and then spend the rest of the night chanting hymns of the mystery of existence, nobody allowed to drift. Whatever you do, share as much loving as you can with your friends, without settling for mediocrity or less than each man's fullest gifts.

Make sure that you arrange for your woman's rejuvenative time and your own. Otherwise, you will rot in the cushions of bargain stagnation and sexual neutralize your true edge of living your gift in a relationship.

Taken from the book by David Dieda "The Way of the Superior Man."

Book or Article Title: 
The Way of the Superior Man
Publication Date: 
Tuesday, February 7, 2012